This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
