I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
