if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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