im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this boner is exhausting
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
