my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
