oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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