Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
