Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
