I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize