Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize