a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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