I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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