The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize