WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
