So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
