People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
