ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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