This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
