some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
