We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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