dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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