think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
