Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
