Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
