Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
