saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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