I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize