Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
