What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
