Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
