i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize