YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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