If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
