every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
