We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize