I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
