I got chris browned last night
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Congratulations! We have a period
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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