Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
