Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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