Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
