He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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