I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
