Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
