My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
