i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
did you just send me my own nude
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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