i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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