She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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