Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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