im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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