You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
