On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
