I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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