i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize