didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
