What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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