Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
