thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize