You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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