what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize