windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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