I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
