Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize