My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
