And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
