my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
