does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize