I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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