we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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