i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
