remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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