Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
that is very illegal...i love you.
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