you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
