I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think my tv is drunk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize