He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize